My Audio Diary - January 2011

by Stephen Bell

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1.
I don't need to cheat... I make up the rules myself
2.
Lyrics: Sorry Work Hard, Be Brave, Have Faith. An enemy will try to make you forget danger so he can attack.
3.
Lyrics: Look beyond these deep red eyes, Break into tears, break into a smile, The benefit to take from this lie, Is that I'll love you better second time Another year has fallen through, You watch me as I'm watching you, I scan your eyes for a simple clue, That next year our dreams will come true Just how much love are you willing to find 'cos if you look too hard you could change your mind; Inside there's another boy broken Just how much love have you thrown away 'cos if you want some more... ...I'm here to stay Who will hear my awkward words? A little boy, a little girl Look to me to explain this world, The Theatre Of The Absurd The Theatre Of The Absurd
4.
Lyrics: Did I just get what's coming for no reason, I want to know? Of one thing I am certain, I am the master of fleeting thought. Tread softly on the dreamer Drink often with the winner I am the soul Anubis reposed And I will die holding you, Take not a single breath in vain. And I will fly over you, Lay me into water, take me to the sea, to the sea
5.
(some) Lyrics: So if you are up for exploitation, that is what you will get How can you stand by that decision yet collapse under the strain of it. I'll give you my view; do what you want with it, Fight the intrusion in your life
6.
Lyrics: I say 'I wont be a moment' You say 'you wont even notice' And thats why you left without saying, That you're sick of the games I am playing Over and over Making no effort is futile, As I circle lost ground in my own mind, The devil is still in the detail, But the sin takes the devil's ideal I watch all the carnage I need to say some more but I'm left holding the door The worm lives in the lions body, suffocating it's foolish oddity, and as I am wondering of it, I burst into laughter and you appear, A cancer in my mind
7.
Lyric: We're Gonna Collapse Under The Weight Of This Machine
8.
Lyrics: This constant star will show me how to shine a little more
9.
(some) Lyrics: Sing that song. The one that tells the story of the fading sun - a smile to wipe a face with. One line spun; One to see the blindness, one to see the dawn. I am lethargy This mind cannot defend ingratitude, This smile will not restore the land So make your fortune inconspicuous, I live I learn; I learn I live So what's your use? Apathy suspends exertion from the truth, I am charity Play to lose; play to be Orions sword, destroy the moon. I am empty space. This mind cannot defend ingratitude, This smile will not restore the land So make your fortune inconspicuous, I live I learn; I learn I live
10.
Lyrics: And on the ground it is too hard to resist, can either go up or down. And in the cloud, it is too hard to resist, can't move for the space inside. It's awkward; Oh Oh Comin' down fast and really making it easy; to keep in the present past Am I? I am; I am amphibian rising, I'm crossing the line at last It's normal You're the space thats in my heart, in my mind and as long as I don't know where you go I'll be fine.
11.
Lyrics: So are you worth what you think you're worth? Doesn't seem like it to me. Escape immoral haze. Spread your decay. You gambled, won and cleaned your hands with what we earned. It's panic out there in the real world. If I were you I'd crawl on my knees for eternity. You'd sell anything; you'd sell anyone.
12.
Up in the evening I am flying, Up in the morning I am dying, Try to believe you're my Messiah Hung on your shoulders, bold as metal, Clung on my back as pure as heaven, Try to restrain but break the level There is not a chance in hell that I will not be smiling, when the finger points you out and makes of you a liar So you gotta grow up man - you weren't born in that doorway You gotta get real son - it's not the first day of your life Don't wanna be part of the system Push you from sight into the distance Just a sick joke beyond my vision Cos you are what you are - a jealous bigot, I am what I am - One Smart Idiot I never show-off but I have got it Why can you not find a life beyond being the hero, Never lift your hand to find some happy like my zero. So you gotta grow up man - you weren't born in that doorway You gotta get real son - it's not the first day of your life ;lp
13.
Lyrics: I wonder where you are, We are so alike, but I try too hard, Purer than the flight of a fallen star To long to be with you Smoke rises from the fire I'm not surprised but I still warmly suspire can i fan the flame from the other side? Lead me to the water Should I force the issue Fading from my view Are you heading to the same place as me? Panic sets aside Fear will keep me right Far beyond this life, I will find my way to meet you I wish I had been there took the choice to get closer than the air bring it all home - I know who I am there This lucid eye is mine
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16.
Lyrics: Stretch beyond the safety of the the life confining you; beyond what you've created to hide the way you lose. Say what has to be said and live it every day. Faith urges you to work hard, Faith urges you to play, but know... ...that if your conscience doesn't kill you, your bitterness might. You know how to become wiser. Before you wake, make your dreams appear as life. Please don't be silenced I wont be silenced! Or sit there being lazy and blame it on the world. That apathy amazes me; because you claim to work so hard
17.
18.
Lyrics: I knew from the start how sad you are Trying to take control, trying to take control Have we become infiltrated? I've made my mistakes, You know that too well, With that knowledge, try to destroy me. Reveal your own - then we'll all know Breathe, before the urge takes you to speak. It's not your cause, nor effect; not your business anyway It's not so smart to stare at me hard But I expect no more (from you) Try to be apathetic not rude
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24.
Lyrics: I'm settling a score this evening - the havoc you wreak must end! Suddenly has lost it's meaning, Despite what you say, You're never gonna change my world Celebrate the word in theory; swaths cut from the waste of envy Send another sad song to me. Despite what you say, You're never gonna change my world I panic and stop - it's love for the lucky, and peace for the happy I'm frightened, so turn an run Fill another space with nothing Oblivion flies. Nullity decrees Have another go Hercules - cos effort alone is never gonna change the world
25.
Lyrics: I have got wisdom like water, I have got courage like fire, I am asserting myself, an indivisible liar. I am the rock that you're standing on You're the gift that keeps giving You better keep on going without my love
26.
Lyrics: There was plenty present in my dreams last night, Plenty pleasant in my dreams And I keep thinking about it, cos I keep wanting to go back where I was I will make a note of how long it takes this feeling to subside, And thats how I will find out it's true value - then make it fly
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29.
Lyrics: Breathe me in a blaze of glory, Filial story, gasping for me Visualise the pleasure hour, Pendulum power; love may be ours Your glacial arms will hold out for now, cos its easy to fall I see flags and I see people, Head-turning leathal I am The Beatle The panic is undone
30.
Lyrics: I don't wanna have to say the same to you as my father said to me, But it seems this generation hasn't seen it through, We've let you down, can I make it up to you? Only if I keep on fighting on Can you justify this call to arms, or another massacre? There is no cause or struggle within. You're so stupid man, being told what to do. Cos you are too weak to stand alone. So take your order, follow blind; and blow before you hear the sign, To learn that dieing is so credible, cos God himself has told you so There's a gaping hole of deceit in your philosophy, This easy lie pedaled to you As the stage goes down, you are raising up the roof And eternity has claimed another fool
31.

about

This is month 1 (sometimes known as January), of My Audio Diary, where I aim to write, record, and release a new song every day of this year. You can download each song individually and at the end of each month I will make the full months worth available for download as a complete album.

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released January 31, 2011

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Stephen Bell County Down, UK

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